Colonial Aftershock

Kent Monkman's: the deposition

Colonial Aftershock

  It just never ends! I am looking around for the Feigel Conference Centre @ Grant McEwan University for a workshop on the arts and culture. And as I turn about, I see this young girl with a look I've seen far too often, a look of disgust and fear as she turns suddenly and darts towards the staircase. Well having done a circle of the floor already, I head for the staircase as well. And after experiencing the psychological violence she's placed on me I mockingly say "yaa, loook at the iindian". She begins to hurry down that last few steps and so, in the words of our mayor Don Iverson, "make racism uncomfortable" I say "ruuuuun", in a quiet, mocking manner. Then continuing on my mission I ask a young fellow if he knew where this Cultural Non-Participation workshop was and he directed me to inquire at the security office. I do so, only to be greeted again to that same look of disgust. The security person asks if she could help me in a rude tone, and so I say defensively "ya, I was hoping so, I'm looking for the fiegel room" then I recognize that there was the young girl was standing there as well... and that's when the security office asks the girl, "is this the guy?". Well apparently the girl reports I was chasing her. Well, I was furious! You racist beeatch! I tell the officer what happened and all she says was "you probably spooked her". BY LOOKING INDIAN! I say how's it my fault my appearance spooks her, just tell me where the fiegel place is and I'll go. So the woman behind the plexi glass window says... go find it yourself! Then in the middle of the workshop head of security comes to me and asks if at the end of the workshop I would go down and be interrogated by them. He says there's always two sides to the story and it's usually somewhere in the middle. Folks, we’ve all been here a million times. FracK IF I'M GONNA JUSTIFY WHO I AM!

Email: info@macewan.ca

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Again this morning I was nearly "pushed" aside in the tim horton's line by a letter carrier who was standing at another till to which I thought he was being served so when I was called up to the next till. The guy literally jumped in front of me, like I said, nearly pushing me aside and exclaiming... "My Turn!" in exclamation. I am so sick of this shit. And nobody does any fracking thing about it but fight for black and immigrant/refugee rights. Perhaps us Red Skins should just do everyone a favor and kill ourselves… or is it just me? Perhaps I should just “OPT OUT!?
{UPDATE} then for lunch at tim horton's, again... two of us are standing there waiting for our orders. me, and a white guy... the timmies worker comes to the counter with an order and calls my name but without giving me a chance to answer or even looking at me she hands the meal to the white guy to which he states, "This ain't mine", to which she didn't even acknowledge but just walks away. leaving the both of us dumbfounded. [ I'm tired of fighting this battle alone while our city fights for black and migrant rights while the Indian problem is still a problem. the Mayor ignores the truth while at the same time romanticizes it. he comes up with a Make it Awkward movement for black people but blocks my messages when I try to bring it to him. I ask my colleagues in the Indigenous to step up only to be ignored... {contact the mayor @... https://coewebapps.edmonton.ca/contactmayor/default.aspx…}]

I am tired
so tired
may I die now
can it all end now
so tired am I

                                johnnyluv