i want to speak cree

Destroy // AMMO Worth Dying For

To Hell... Yet on My Way Back

   Hi folks, It's been some time since I've written and for various reasons. One of the most prominent of them is that for a while there I lost hope as you may have already read or heard from me someplace online or another. I gave up hope from all the activist research I've been doing. To find out the sheer scope of all the bullshit out there and how so many are either oblivious to it, or just don't care because they are to caught up with their own materialistic lives just became too overwhelming.

   Yet don't bill me too misguided. I also realize that there are a great deal who do care and work very hard to rectify and educate others to this dilemma we face as residents to such a diverse and wondrous planet.  Also, it took my going to the very edge to realize the support system that is in place for me and how many great friends I truly have. Yet on the other hand... I've also been losing touch with my children and grandson to some degree.

   This I believe, as I've mentioned, was written to many of you earlier here on my blog as well as other media venues. But since getting over myself and that situation, another shitty shambles came to bear upon my grasp of insanity. Insanity would be the appropriate word I'm looking for here because I would never dare to claim a sane state for this reality to which we all are imprisoned, if only for but a short time. Thankfully and by God's grace, that situation has been only temporary. I plan to see my daughter and her family in the coming week. I also have decided to have another go at rehab.

   Yes, I've relapsed. And not with my usual love of cocaine or crack, but with crystal meth. which is sort of an overlap from the first predicament. I thought after I was able to grasp the beauty of this world and the Father once again that stopping the use wouldn't be far behind. but now it's been four months of mardi-gras'.  And So I've decided to re-check myself in after 10 years. This time It's gonna have a foundation in Indigenous teachings to which I will seek refuge from all the hub-bub and attempt to find my place in sobriety as well as stability once again.

   Six times I've relapse since my short stint in the Anchorage program at the Salvation Army institution of religious bullshit to which they gave me the boot after six weeks. About half the required time to graduate their program a decade ago. Ya, they cited I was too difficult to work with after refusing to be followed to the bathroom in a church. Why would I use in a church after enjoying a weekend pass? Well regardless of that, I remained true to my renewed faith in the Creator and stayed sober until about three and a half months of bible college over a year later.

   Anyway, and back on topic, I've been having problems with some employees at the supportive living building to which I moved into. Some who've I've known prior to moving in and who have called me friend. turned out not to really be my friends at all. I've discovered I'm just another client to them. and the lies keep mounting within that realm of systematic, ass covering lemmings. Yet then again... I love it when people underestimate my intelligence. It only serves to reveal their own ignorance to the truth and those who seek it. You see due to my relapse, I believe I've stumbled upon something fishy going on with some staff members and possibly a few of the residents.

   They are trying to convince me that what I seem to suspect is all in my head because of the drug use and to some degree, at first I swallowed it. But too many tangibles have, and are adding up to cause me to believe otherwise. Things that have brought forth substantial evidence. The thing is, is to track down that evidence. And I currently have eyes and ears on the streets doing just that. However, that may prove harder to do than it may seem. For much, other than a couple pieces to that evidence, is reliant upon peoples testimonies to this situation, and few are talking. It would take a real investigation to bring out that truth. So again, I would have to get my hands on that of which I spoke earlier. And don't go believing I'm giving away to much info here, this would already be known by my adversaries. Then again, perhaps I am crazy...

   But I really don't  think so. You see, I've been subjected to a corporate cover-up once before in my life with a company I used to work for. So it with first-hand knowledge to what businesses will do to protect the status quo. And I just want to say that I believe because of my refusal to back down, they may now have reversed their policy of a rights violation in order to ensure client safety. Which is infinitely more important than any recompense I may be seeking for myself. For this is about personal rights, rights endowed to all of God's creature's, strong or weak.

   And this is good news because it gives me cause to relax a little more and stop worrying about some threats I was receiving to my well being. I mean, I would have hated to seriously hurt someone in self-defense, or die before finishing my book...

   Oh don't even ask, I don't know when I'll get around to typing that impending "The End" to my masterpiece of a lifetime's journey. It is my wish that I enjoyed that stability now, but I don't. I'm still that little irresponsible imp I have always been since childhood, lol. I'm just updating you folks on my situation and that roller-coaster of which I usually get a kick out of. But I find myself getting too old to play the game anymore of catch and release in regards to life.

   I will never stop fighting for the little guy though. I have nothing else in this world to which is worthy of my sweat and tears at the moment. Nor do I believe there ever will be until I find a nice, curvy, sugga mamma to keep me warm at nights, lol.

   Don't worry folks, I'm just kidding... Even a sugga mamma couldn't replace this warrior's heart for the fight. HAHAHAHA!

    In the meantime, here are some articles that may shed some light on to some of the concerns to which plague this old man's noggin. And go ahead, cry "conspiracy theorist" or "paranoid nut-job". yet you must understand. I've resolved myself to given up seeking anything of this world for myself in order to serve my King Jesus. It is my hope that He may bestow to me in some small measure... the wisdom to follow a path to which may endow me with some portion of truth. And Even though there are those who may call me crazy. It is those I believe who prefer to hide from said truth. If only to hold on to the fallacy of what they may call... reality.

                                                                  johnnyluv


(The Rothchild's and the Central banking System)
https://www.facebook.com/massreport/videos/1182083151804700/
  (9/11)
https://www.facebook.com/AwarenessAct/videos/1290666910947843/
 (Lady Diana and the British elite)
https://www.facebook.com/ChristopherEverard/videos/10201854218713072/
(Chem-trails and Geo-engineering)
http://www.geoengineeringwatch.org/category/geoengineering/results-of/climate-change/

Heritage Minutes: Chanie Wenjack

Breaking the Law to Feed the Homeless

Only To Die

A portion of the world lies dead
Yet they're truly not recognized
And where too, I laid my head 

That there's where, I came realize

And when I opened my eyes

Or as my eyes were opened

I met the truth...
And in so died 

Yet it is through “that” death

I found a high purpose
It is in that place
I was able to surface

I fight not for self
But I speak for children

I fight not for the seen
But for that...
Which is yet to be seen

I fight also for you 
My beloved relative 
So that one day you too
May awaken and live

Only to die...
                   johnnyluv

no Hope with the Seed

 Here is a letter I've been putting out there in response to some ridiculous behavior that I am coming to my wits end in having to witness time and time again. It also includes the my efforts to stop the Calgary office from destroying my city with their version of the Mustard Seed here in Edmonton. It was fine until a new manager took over from Calgary. you may also refer to my post, "What's up at the Seed?!"

..........................................................................................................

In Regards to a petition I started for a greatly loved woman who was fired after 18 years of dedicated service to the homeless....

   There aren't very many signatures, this was just the online signatures to which I did not promote too well. we had over 250 signatures of the street people for Maria but the woman who was in charge of that list lost them through her living arrangements. But that doesn't matter. I will not stop campaigning against the Mustard Seed until Mario and Paule Thorne no longer subject the street people to their power trips. There are more stories that I have collected since this started so hold on for a long and bumpy ride!

   I have been banned for life from the Mustard Seed because I refuse to say that they are valuable to me. As a Christian I hold nothing in this world of value. only my Lord Jesus and the kingdom of heaven is valuable. But according to Mario the Manager and volunteer coordinator Paul Thorne, I will never be allowed in their building until I verbally state that they are valuable to me. Which will never happen. (See fb page Reinstate Maria for backstory)...

   To the Hope Mission: I am writing to let you know that I am very disappointed with your staff and their behavior and attitude when it comes to those they profess to serve. I walked into the supper service and reported a man in distress on the corner of 97 street and 106th. avenue. I reported this information to Nathan and Megan who were standing at the front door engaged in witty banter with each other. Unfortunately Nathan was completely dismissive and told me to call 211 myself. (The Hope mission has a street van for exactly this purpose). I told him I didn't have a phone, otherwise I would have called myself.
   Megan then tried to pretend that she was concerned and asked where exactly this man was. Then upon my departure from these two, it was obvious they were not going to call as Nathan just smiled and laughed under his breath as I was walking away. I also noticed that they were not making any calls so I went to another staff member to explain the situation. This is when I noticed Megan and Nathan take notice of what I was doing. That is when I heard Megan's voice come over the radio bringing to attention this poor fellow left to sit in his own excrement on the side of the road.
   Now your staff flirting around with each other, rather than doing their jobs is none of my concern. What is my concern is the fact that they don't give a shit about my people who are victims of a colonialist attitude that has driven and kept my people in the gutters time and time again. That also goes for another incident which I indent to leave for a story that I am working on. I don't care about any response because I don't expect any from your so called hope mission that only pretends to care as long as you get subsidies from the government. I'm just letting you know to expect stories coming out from a dirty low-life indian writer by the name of, well me.
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   It doesn't help with organizations like the Hope Mission and the Mustard Seed of Edmonton who take's everyone's money and does the very least amount to help the homeless while abusing them and feeding them substandard food (the Hope Mission, not the Seed in regards to food) and treating them like second class humans. Trust me, That's how they treat me.

   Oh ya, and the Hope Mission also keeps employed there a fellow by the name of Edin Viso, a racially insensitive prick who laughs at indigenous issues. I've created a fb page dedicated mostly to this native hating white supremist... (Ban Cohen Corner Cafe)

johnny lee

Added comments....................

Anonomous(from facebook) Why do people have such hatred and no respect for other humans these days.Like really some people ought to be acting like Christians rather than faking it since hope mission people are supposed to have a church service. I think Maria should be in charge of the seed too because at least she understood the needs and concerns of people. I don't like how they keep on firing staff just for getting to know people, that's part of their job as street level workers. No one should be treated as second class humans no matter what race they are and no matter how poor they are it isn't right. I will be praying for you and your campaign. I also want you to know that you are not a dirty Indian.. You are a first nations person and you have meaning in other people's lives no matter what the mustard seed staff or anyone else says. The creator sees all and he knows all. He loves you as you are.

An un-named friend in response to this.....

Hi man, 

Yeah that really sucks. That should not happen and I also see 'poser' Christians working around inner-city. 

It is tough for me to love them. I pray that your anger stays righteous, and keeps you going, and that you draw closer to the good Father. He will bring justice. Now and in the future. 

I will try and give you a call tomorrow. Have a good Easter brother!

P.O.D. - Tell Me Why

Casting Crowns - Slow Fade

Truth and Reconciliation is NOT a Place for Profit

   Why are there so many people and organizations profiting from Truth and Reconciliation? Like the University of Alberta and Life Skills Journey Program in Edmonton?

   I've been talking to people who have been, are going down this road and see the same thing happening in other countries. Truth and Reconciliation has become a big money making joke. Nothing really changes unless we demand it and do it in a way that those who have been doing the oppressing... PAY! Such as the educational system. NOT THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN ON THE RECEIVING END OF OPPRESSION!

  I've gotten a response to this posting by a facilitator and they tried to tell me that the money was going to pay for the room and the panelists in the workshop. Two of which were Indigenous. Well let me see, $125 + GST. per person. JUST HOW MUCH DOES THIS DAMN ROOM COST!

  And as an educational institution which has been part of the historical cover up concerning indigenous histories. They could provide the darn room for free as the least they could do now that the truth is coming out concerning their perceived ignorance regarding the residential school system and genocide of my people's... Higher learning my ass. And if these panelists truly cared about furthering the cause of reconciliation. They wouldn't be asking for so much of a paycheck to do it. It's not like it was their career choice to be panelists on such an important issue.

  I said it once and I'll say it again... We must be careful of those who are going to jump on this TRC bandwagon just in order to make a name for themselves, make money.. or water down the truth in order to keep the status quo.
                                           johnnyluv

 

 

UPDATE:

 I just came from a meeting with a representative from the U of A and what I heard did have some merits. such as we have to begin changing the colonial mindset through love and seeking allies with those who have taken part in the oppression of my peoples. This is regards to some angered comments about the U of A profiting from the Truth and Reconciliation(See above), which they are by holding meetings and discussion panels on their property. one coming up will cost $125. this is so ridiculous. I told them they should be providing the space at no cost if they are serious about reconciliation. anything else is anti-reconciliation. But hey, in my view they don't care. it's just the perceived appearance that they care by holding these meetings. As long as it doesn't cost them anything, and hey if they make a profit while looking good to the public... why not, right. Damn sick if you ask me. If they are not willing to kick in by means of some real space on their property and real time allotment, then I say we hold these meetings someplace else.

Johnnyluv